Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ricardo Mayorga Hates on MMA P*tos, Makes Chickens Poop Eggs by Slapping Them

Ricardo Mayorga loves MMA (not).
Ricardo Mayorga’s most recent haterade-induced rant on mixed martial arts marks another chapter in the history of trash-talking. Actually, Mayorga just went from certified crazy to ‘someone please get this guy a straight jacket.’ His latest go-in targets BJ Penn, Nick Diaz, and generally every MMA “puto” who “rolls on the ground” instead of “fighting like a man.”

Fortunately for Mayorga, he might have the perfect excuse not to have to live up to any of the crap he spews. His last real attempt at challenging a MMA fighter was last year when he was set to face Din Thomas at Shine Fights 3: "Worlds Collide." That venture was cut short when Mayorga’s manager, the legendary Don King, filed a last minute injunction which successfully shut down the whole show. Mayorga’s boxing contract (like most pro boxing contracts) does not allow mixed martial arts competition. So, he can talk smack all day about MMA and never have to throw a punch.

At least the farming industry will benefit from Mayorga’s mental patient-like report, as he reveals that he has further improved the chicken egg production process. According to the report, Mayorga slaps chickens, thus forcing the chickens to poop out eggs. Pure genius! Also on Mr. Mayorga's impressive list of contributions to science and technology: beer-based synthafuel and a safe 4+ hours Viagra formula.

Oh yeah, make sure your expletive counter is on (be sure to switch to “Spanish Included”).

Via Ricardo Mayorga's Twitter:

MMA putos challenge cripples like Lacy and Hippos like Toney- i will end the debate with my right fist. If not Diaz, I want that chubby BJ. MMA was created by homosexuals who were looking for an excuse to rollover and mount each other and call it fighting. Boxeo is for real men. I grew up with gangs in streets of Managua- we fought with fists, knifes and machetes but never rolled around with men – that is gay.

That fat bald puto doesn’t want me to come and take his livelihood away. He deals with old hippos like Toney. I have scars from battle – women give birth to real men in nicaragua. After I splatter him, I will put a hawaiin dress on that maricon and make him to the hula hula dance- he’s no match for me. I encourage u all to see the video of me pimp slapping and knocking out Din Thomas – I am finished with you MMA maricons now. Look at my tweets or go to YouTube , his manager told my compa that he was so scared that he cried like a woman later.

Real men fight- maricons roll on ground and wrestle. Boxeo is número UNO! Tell BJ to box me- after I KO him, I will put him not in a body bag but in a condom so he can think that’s where he shud have stayed.

If MMA is so tough why is this bitch Nick Diaz fighting Lacy. My crippled grandmother would KO Lacy! BOXEO = NUMERO UNO! I had a good run 5 miles. Now Im going to slap a chicken and make it give me fresh eggs. should i call it Nick Diaz or BJ? I smacked this pollo so that it could lay some eggs but it s*** itself. so i will name it Din Thomas the next slaughter i call diaz or bj.

In boxeo- 46 yr old legend can be campeon- in MMA Coture mounts a fat hippo Toney and claims greatness. MMA is for dumb maricons.

I am ready. I have company in Managua which will supply free body bags. this is easy, I will even smoke cigar when they announce me.

BJ, you want to box with me or you are another MMA maricon who wants to roll around with other sweaty maricons? after I KO you, I will put a hawaiin dress on u fatty and make u do hula hula dance- remember Im a real fighter puto.

My compa just tell me that that maricon nick Diaz pissed himself and withdrew from boxing with a shot bum Lacy. I’d have killed this puto. Change of heart? He needs a change of sex- maricon! After I challenge him, this puto runs away from boxing.

Dana White, this bald puto wont say a word-i am not a fat hippo like Toney. He says smthn he will get slapped. baldie is smart. I hear all these MMA girls serve that bald puto Dana White he is a nobody- I’m a real man. Tapout is good name- after I hit this maricons, they tapout- boxeo has no tap out- we are warriors not maricons.

BJ, he is not man enough to step in the ring with me. ill kick your gordo culo chubby, ask ur daddy Dana White to let you in the ring with me. in 2 minutes, i will show u what i do. i give u payday. in ur sport that bald puto takes your $ and gives u change. you are a nobody I am the campeon maricon. After I kick you I will be confused where to kick you because your face looks like a gordo culo. step up and get in the ring. Toney is a fat hippo like this maricon BJ. Ask him to fight me in the ring. NO GLOVES. I give him a big payday. Like he did with that bum from Jersey. This fat maricon is shot. he is a nobody. I am the campeon. This fatty doesnt have the courage to fight me, boxing donated a fat hippo toney to ufc- now return favor- i want BJ.

I am finish with these maricons, first that fake latina NIck Diaz, now this fat puto BJ- these are cowards who dont want to fight a real man! Boxing gave UFC a FAT HIPPO- Toney, Now I want a FAT HIPPO back. Give me this gordo maricon BJ Penn, Its a fair deal. what happened to BJ Penn? that fat tub of shit ran away like that other pendejo NIck. Come to my world and fight me like a man maricon. In a street fight only homosexuals crawl and mount each other and roll on top of each other. Real Man knocks the puto out. fight like a man. BOXEO numero UNO MARICON! remember this pendejo. u punks growing up in america shouldnt talk street fights with a kid from Managua. MMA maricons want to fight with hippos like Toney. Give me that chubby hippo BJ Penn and I’ll slaughter him. If BJ Penn wants to fight, I pay for his testicle implant and his funeral. this is boxeo maricon! numero uno VIVA NICARAGUA! these guys are pendejos. they fight like maricons and that bald puto Dana White takes their money. if they want to fight like a man, lets go.

Jenna Jameson, I am see a movie of you- that fat puto Ron Jermy give it to u nice.

MMA is for fags and maricons who can’t box or fight like a man- they are homo who want to roll on ground wearing panties. I repeat- world of boxing donated MMA a fat hippo named toney- time to pay back- give me fatty BJ Penn. If I don’t knock him out cold in 2 minutes, him and that bald puto Dana can keep all the money. I grew up fighting in the streets of Managua, we fought with machetes or fists like real men- not rolling around mounting men like fags. I know puto” they will beg me to spare their lives. U maricons have no idea where I come from.

Nick Diaz bitched out of a fight with a crippled shot bum- I’d have probably killed him in a boxing match. And that mas puto el gordo maricon BJ – once I hit him in the stomach he will vomit all the pigs he consumes. MMA is a like gay porn- fight me like man puto, real man- I challenge BJ the Bloated Pig to box me- I will kill him in 2 min. I am sick and tired of you maricons- ask BJ the fat pig to box me or that puto Diaz who is a disgrace to Latinos.

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