Saturday, July 31, 2010

'UFC on Versus 2' Packing List

There's always something you forget to pack. Fighters are no different.

This is just a short list of must-bring items that I've compiled for the big fight on Sunday:

  • Clippers, so someone can add more lines to John Howard’s head.
  • An apology letter from the UFC for Damarques Johnson. Salt Lake City is Johnson’s hometown. UFC on Versus 2 was supposed to take place there, but the location was changed to San Diego when UFC officials realized a Sunday event wouldn’t be very profitable in Utah. Who doesn’t want to fight in front of their home crowd?
  • A title fight contract for Yushin Okami. If he beats Mark Munoz it almost has to happen. Dana should keep one close by, just in case.
  • Fatigues and combat boots for Brian Stann’s walk out. He’s a former Marine--a G.I. Joe look-alike, why not make an act out of it?
  • A spot on the third season of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” for Mike Massenzio. Mike’s a Jersey Guido—nuff said.
  • Nair or shave gel and a razor for Vladimir Matyushenko. His chest looks like my living room carpet.
  • A bull rope for Takanori Gomi's corner in case he knocks out Tyson Griffin and gets a little too excited, like his episode at ‘Pride 7.’

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